


Always My Valentine

by invisible_nobody



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, guys i had to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27843919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_nobody/pseuds/invisible_nobody
Summary: Leopold Fitz and Jemma Simmons have been inseparable for so long - it was inevitable that they would be each other's favorite ValentineORFitzSimmons as told through Valentine's Day
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Always My Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn't supposed to be this long, but then i actually got the words out and here we are. this piece was so much fun to write, so i hope you guys enjoy it!

**1 - 2004**

Valentine’s Day.

A day for love, compassion, friendship… and easily marketable toys, cards and chocolates.

Fitz had never really cared much for it, or for all of the hullabaloo surrounding it. People were in love. Okay, great for them. So what? The whole world didn’t need to know. So usually the holiday would come, he’d roll his eyes and complain, and then it would pass. Valentine’s Day of 2004 would be no different, as far as he was concerned.

That was, until he opened his door to rush to class (after successfully sleeping through his alarm) and almost stepping on what lay outside. Right there, on the floor in front of his door, was a small, rectangular, black box. Thinking it was a prank, he tried to walk past and ignore it - but something caught his eye.

A small note, taped to the box.

_Happy Valentine’s Day!_

_-Jemma_

He couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his face.

\- - - - -

**2 - 2009**

Jemma always loved Valentine’s Day. Happiness, appreciation, and love dripping off of every smiling face and festive decoration. Exchanging chocolates and compliments with her parents is something she misses dearly. 

She found that she missed it a little less when she celebrated with Fitz (even if he was a grouch about it). That’s why she felt her spirits lift and her tiredness dissipate when she walked into work and saw a stuffed rabbit sitting in her chair. She rushed over to it, lifting it to examine, and then squeezed the daylights out of it.

“I knew you’d like it.” Fitz stated, victoriously, from behind her. “I knew it.”

She spun around to face him, startled. She looked down at the rabbit - brown fur, floppy ears, a heart with BEST FRIENDS on it sewed in white - and then spoke, “You bought this?”

“Yeah?”

“With money.”

“Yes.”

“Your money?”

“Geez, Simmons,” Fitz complained, “I wasn’t expecting a lecture. A smile, yeah, and maybe a thank you.”

She smiled, squeezing the rabbit again. “Thank you, Fitz. He’s very soft.”

He smiled back. “I’m glad you like him. He was practically calling your name from the moment I walked in the store. I couldn’t deny him of finally meeting you, now could I?”

Jemma chuckled, “No, I guess not.” she turned and set him on the desk, leaning against a lamp, “Elmer can be our new mascot.”

Fitz blinked. “Huh?”

She pointed at the stuffed animal. “His name is Elmer, and he’ll be the new mascot for our lab. I can tell that he loves his new job already.”

Fitz shook his head, but his smile never wavered. “Okay. Okay, sure,” he gestured, “...Elemer… is the mascot now.”

“Exactly.” she stated, proudly, “Now you’re getting it.”

Jemma heard him mutter, “I didn’t even know we _had_ a mascot,” under his breath, but she let it slide.

It was Valentine’s Day, after all.

\- - - - -

**3 - 2015**

He’s spent ten years' of Valentines’ with Jemma, so Fitz doesn’t remember how to make it through the day without her.

He had walked into the dollar store, a few days before, and was overwhelmed by the numerous shades of pink and red that surrounded him. He felt his stomach sink, heavy as a rock, as the weight of fighting with Jemma hit him all over again and he felt as if he was back to drowning in the ocean.

He took a deep breath, remained grounded, and continued on his way to grab what he’d come for. He’d tried his hardest not to notice all of the different things on the shelves that would make her face light up at the sight of. He pushed down the image of it, attempted to untighten the knot in his stomach.

Fitz really was trying.

So much turmoil, just for some batteries.

And now he sat, watching a movie using the remote that he’d bought those batteries for. He’d said for years that he disliked this holiday, but he’d forgotten how much he hated it before he met Jemma. But… she was right there, just over in the lab. All he had to do was go talk to her-

Nope. Not an option. Not even _negotiable_. 

He turned off his movie, deciding to call it a night. He made his way to his room as quickly and quietly as he could - ‘scurrying’ is what Hunter had called it - so as to not draw too much attention. As he came up to his room, he saw the door was slightly opened and frowned - it was probably Skye, snooping, he assumed, until he made his way inside and saw the case of Red Bull sitting on his bed and a box of various sugary treats next to it.

He picked up the note that lay on top of the drinks:

_I’ll feed your Red Bull addiction, just this once._

_The snacks are from my stash. Happy Valentine’s Day._

_-Jemma_

Fitz honestly had no idea how he felt about that, how he _should_ feel about that. Grateful? He’d received a present. Upset? Receiving a gift from somebody on this particular holiday while you’re fighting with them seems a little insulting.

But, in as bad of taste as it was, it was _Jemma_.

He put both gifts under his bed. He’d snack on them when it sat better in his stomach.

\- - - - -

**4 - 2017**

There was absolutely no one Fitz felt more comfortable around than Jemma.

But that didn’t mean that he _wasn’t_ , on occasion, anyways. The week of Valentine’s Day 2017 was one such time. He found himself making his way through conversations with her as quick as he could, and going out of his way to be in the lab at different times to the best of his ability. He chided himself for it everytime, but couldn’t stop. Every time he saw her, his heart leapt out of his chest.

That particular afternoon, he hadn’t seen Daisy walk up behind him when she said, “She thinks you’re mad at her.”

Fitz swung his head to look behind him so fast that he pinched a nerve. Rubbing his neck, he excused the man he had been providing a signature for before turning his attention back to his friend. “What are you going on about?”

These days, Daisy Johnson looked angry more often than not. She was fighting a battle in her head and Fitz was never sure if she was winning. He felt terrible. And yet, right now, with her arms crossed, her lips pierced, and head slightly lowered, she seemed _pointedly_ angry.

At him.

“Simmons.” Daisy clarified. “She thinks you’re mad at her. She thinks that maybe she said or did something.”

Fitz scrunched up his face in confusion. “Now, why would she think a thing like that? Of course I’m not upset with her.”

“Well you should tell her that, because she just spent the better part of an hour telling me all about her worries.” she continued, relentlessly, “And I think she had some pretty compelling evidence. So either you’re mad, or you’re an asshole. I’m really not sure which of those is better.”

He took a breath. “I just said I’m not angry. Now are you going to tell me why she's concerned or are you just going to keep blindly coming after me?”

Daisy sighed. “Yeah, okay. She says you’ve been short with her, leaving the lab whenever she walks in. You’re always in bed long before or after her ‘much more than usual’, her words.”

Fitz held his face in his hand, collecting his thoughts, and then spoke, expression tight. “She didn’t do anything. This is all on me.”

Her face widened, a little taken aback. “What does that mean? Are you having some kind of issue with your guys’ relationship, because I don’t think pulling away is the right-”

“-No, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s just…” he paused, taking a breath and lowering his voice, “My nerves are just a little frayed, with the holiday coming up and all.”

Fitz didn’t know what reaction he had expected Daisy to have to that explanation, but engaging in a hearty bout of laughter was most certainly not it. She hunched over a little as she did, and while he was annoyed, he found that he couldn’t bring himself to be angry at laughing at his worries. He hadn’t seen her so genuinely enjoying herself in a while.

He frowned. “What? What’s so funny?”

“It’s just,” she inhaled, catching her breath, “that _that’s_ what you’re worried about. That’s it! Here I was, thinking that you guys were drifting apart, two people who no one thought ever could, and you were just working yourself up over something silly.”

He scoffed, a bit offended by her comments. “‘Something silly?’”

She shrugged, smiling. “Fitz, it’s just Valentine’s Day.”

“‘ _Just Valentine’s Day?’_ ” he repeated after her again, indignant, “It is not just _any_ Valentine’s Day, Daisy. It’s…”

He paused, and she raised her eyebrows, “Yes?”

“It’s our first one as a couple,” he spit out, “so I have to get it right.”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Oh my _God_ , Fitz. Are you seriously, actually that concerned about this?” he nodded, and she continued, “Okay. You’re first Valentine’s as an official item - I can see why that might tweak you out a little.”

“ _See._ ”

“But,” she continued, “you have to stop viewing it like that. You guys have had, like, what? A million holidays together?”

“Not a _million_.” he grumbled.

“So just treat it like any one of those.” she explained, “It’s really not much different when you think about it. You guys always get each other gifts, you usually end up falling asleep watching a movie together, there’s usually cards and sweets involved-”

“-Yeah, but-”

“The only thing that changes is that now you _know_ how much you love each other,” she shrugged, “and you’ll probably get laid tonight.”

Fitz opened his mouth to try to interrupt what she was saying, realized he was too late, and settled for pinching the bridge of his nose instead. “Daisy, I don’t think you’re understanding the issue, here.”

She crossed her arms again. “I don’t think you’re understanding my point.”

“You were gone!” he exclaimed, louder than he probably should have, “You remember how- how-how _bad_ things were before, but you haven’t seen how _good_ that they have gotten to be. I-I-I-If-If I do this wrong - get the wrong thing or say the wrong thing - what if that’s it? What if that’s the end?”

Daisy rolled her eyes, “Fitz, I don’t-"

“Relationships are different, right? There are different responsibilities, standards.” he barrelled forward, not paying any mind to Daisy’s interruption, “I’ve never been in a relationship, but Jemma’s had boyfriends before and she’ll notice if I mess something up and then…”

Daisy grabbed his face between her hands, effectively silencing him and grabbing attention. “Fitz. Listen to me carefully. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. Simmons loves you just as much as you love her - which is to say more than I ever thought a human being could love another human being. You could completely forget about the holiday and, yeah, she might be disappointed, but she will still love you just as much.”

Even though he was unable to move his head, he managed to lower his gaze just by moving his eyes. “Are you sure?”

Daisy chuckled, “Yes, Fitz. I swear on… well, on whoever you choose. It’ll be fine, no matter what.”

He nodded and, satisfied, she patted his shoulder and wandered down the hall.

Fitz did eventually decide on a gift, having taken Daisy’s advice to heart. He stood there in front of her that night, rocking on his feet, as she looked down at the little, silver microscope pendant on the necklace in the palm of her hand.

“I know it’s not much,” he began, trying to head off any lecture that might come, “it’s sort of cheap, and tacky, but I found it online and if it’s any consolation I do have chocolates as well-”

He was silenced by a hard kiss to his lips. “I love it, Fitz. It’s wonderful.”

“Really?”

She nodded, “Yes, because it’s adorable, and you’re adorable, and I love you.”

He smiled, relief and love washing through him, “Well… I’m glad.”

“I thought you were angry, or upset with me.” she spoke, ear to his chest and eyes closed, relaxed, “I was convinced that something had happened that you weren’t telling me, or, forbid, that _I_ had done something and not even known it."

“No, no, no, of course not.” he soothed, running his fingers through her hair and planting a kiss on the top of her head, “It was nothing like that - it was actually quite silly, really.”

She looked up, worry clear in her eyes. It pulled at his heart. “What? Tell me.”

Fitz shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, it’s over now, okay?”

Jemma didn’t seem convinced, but she dropped it nonetheless. Insead, she reached under her pillow and smiled, “Close your eyes.”

Sighing, but amused, he did as he was told, as well as preemptively holding out his hands. A few seconds later he felt something small and rectangular be placed in them, and he supressed the urge to peek.

“Okay. Open them.”

He did, and there, right there, was an honest-to-God _planner_ . A planner; calendar; agenda. Light blue, with while lettering, _‘2017-2018’_. He stood there for a few moments, just staring at it, silent, and right as Jemma’s face started to fall, he began to laugh. The laugh went all the way through his gut, and his smile almost hurt his face - and the adorable look of confusion on his girlfriend's face only made his fit worse.

“What? What’s so funny?” she demanded, placing her hands on her hips, “Fitz!”

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “It’s just…” he took a breath, catching it the best he could, “it’s just so _you_ , and I love you.”

She smiled when he threw her words back in her face.

He continued, “ I’m not even sure I know how to utilize one of these things.”

“That’s where I come in.” she stated, “I’m going to help you. You’ve always been a hot mess when it comes to your attention span, finishing projects, remembering deadlines - those sorts of things. I figured it was long past time that we start working on it, together.”

He kissed her cheek, grateful, then added, “But you are aware that that’s never going to happen, aren’t you?”

She shrugged, wrapping her arms around his neck, “It’s worth a try. I love you anyway that you are, so there isn’t any way that I lose in this scenario.”

He shook his head, chuckling, returning the embrace. “Okay okay, I’ll give it an honest try. Thank you.”

“Thank you, too.” she responded, putting the necklace back into his hands. She turned around, pulling her hair off to one side. Taking the hint, he undid the metal clasp, wrapped the piece of jewelry around her neck, and then redid it, placing a kiss at the nape of her neck. She turned around, and he could barely contain the emotion in his stomach. “How’s it look?”

“Absolutely perfect,” he responded, “just like you.”

\- - - - -

**5 - 2018**

Jemma couldn’t remember a Valentine’s Day when everything was so utterly terrible.

And yet somehow this was her favorite one yet.

She sat opposite Fitz at a table, two cups of tea and a whole plate full of cookies was resting on top of it. They chatted away, about everything and nothing, reminiscing. It amazed her, how they could sit here and celebate relatively normally. She laughed at his terrible jokes, and he listened intently while she went on and on about things that he had little to no interest in. It was as it had always been.

But how?

When she blinked, she saw that smile - the twisted confidence and admiration. He wasn’t allowed to be so much of _him_ and still so in love with her. In that split second where her eyes were closed she felt her veins run cold and her nausea return.

She looked down at the half-eaten cookie in her hand, and suddenly it looked evil as well.

“Jemma?” she looked back up, drawn back to reality by the sound of his voice, “Are you alright?”

She nodded, absentmindedly, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just a tad out of sorts I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he offered, taking another bite, “Not much better to do in here than listen.”

She shook her head, “No, no, no - definitely not. It’s a holiday. Let’s just have a good time”

“If you’re bothered,” he continued, “then it’s not ‘a good time’. Talk to me.”

On one hand, she never wanted to talk about it ever again; she would sooner forget it ever happened and move on. But they couldn’t. And she knew that nobody else was really talking to him. It was just as much a plea for normalcy as it was a concern for her wellbeing. But would he still want to discuss it if he knew what was on her mind?

“No, I-”

“I just want to make sure that you’re-”

“I said it’s fine, Fitz!” she yelled, slamming her food down on her plate. The room filled with silence and her stomach swelled with guilt as soon as his face fell. Here he was, just being as loving as always and she just scolded him. Jemma sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

He shrugged, but it was still clear that he was hurt. “It’s fine, I understand. It hasn’t been easy on you recently.”

Nothing is ever easy on any of them, but she knew what he meant. Of course she did. “It still wasn’t right, and I’m sorry. I know you mean well.”

He nodded, “Yeah, but I won’t push anymore. You’ll go to somebody if you need to - you’re one of the strongest people I know.”

_‘You’ll go to somebody’_ instead of _‘You’ll come to me’_.

“I don’t know about ‘strongest’,” she bounced off of his remark as naturally as ever, trying to regain that rhythm that helped to make them so successful, “you do know Daisy Johnson, after all.”

Fitz laughed, and her heart felt all that much lighter, “I said ‘one of’. Poor girl can’t catch a break.”

Jemma rolled her eyes. “Neither can we. At least we have that in common.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but we did manage to make it to another Valentine’s together. Lucky number thirteen.”

“Lucky.” she scoffed. As wrong as it felt, it certainly was the perfect word for them. Not too many couples could be lucky and cursed at the same time.“Yes, well, I consider myself lucky during any moment I get to spend with you.”

The silly, lovestruck smile she received made her insides melt and suddenly the Earth splitting apart in the near future and the trauma they’ve endured up until now no longer mattered. He was right (of course he was) - they made it another year, somehow, despite everything. That did deserve a little bit of celebration.

Goosbumps ran up her skin when she remembered - _they were married_. 

That’s all that truly mattered, that they loved each other.

“Thank you,” he said suddenly, looking down at his lap, “for spending the day in here, with me, after all that.”

So it was on his mind as well.

“Of course I am, there really isn’t any need for thanks.” she insisted, reaching across the table and taking his free hand in hers, “I love you - there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

He took his hand back and began to fiddle nervously with his ring. She’d caught him doing that quite a bit since he’d gotten it, and it’s become her favorite little habit of his. “I’m not safe to be around, and if Daisy found out how long you’ve been in here she’d be livid; drag you back to the control room herself. You’re risking a lot, and I just don’t think I’m-”

“Worth it?” she finished. He looked up, eyebrows raised and mouth open just a little. He nodded and then returned his gaze back to whatever point he was focusing on beneath the table. “Fitz, you’re worth _everything_ , everything and more. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Fitz lifted his eyes to meet hers and he smiled again, but it was filled with too much sadness to be of any comfort. “What did I ever do in life to be allowed to be with you?”

“All you did was be yourself.” It may have been rhetorical, but Jemma never could stand the way Fitz talked about himself, “And that’s all you ever have to do.”

\- - - - -

**+1 - 2019**

Jemma laughed, a little bit, as she watched Daisy spit out her food just as quickly as she had put it in her mouth. It felt nice, and a bit foreign.

“Not your style?” Piper asked, equal parts amused and disgusted.

“I was so sure about this one.” she claimed, still sputtering from the betrayal, “The scent, the texture, the culture…”

Piper shrugged, “I guess you really never know with alien food. I try to avoid trying new things altogether at this point.”

Daisy nodded. “That’s not a terrible idea, but I don’t think I could do it; and I certainly didn’t expect to miss our shitty ‘we’re in hiding’ diet so much. Is this what it felt like to be on Maveth, Simmons?”

Jemma shook her head. “Maybe at first, but the farther away that your life on Earth feels, the less it stings.” At the silence that fell over the group, she whipped out the most cheerful-looking smile that she could muster and laughed lightly, “But we’ll be back before you know it, and the funniest thing is that you’ll realize that you didn’t miss it nearly as much as you thought you had.”

Or maybe that had just been the trauma, but she wanted to reassure them.

Picking up on what she was attempting to do, Davis added, “I hope not. No offense to Z1, but I miss my bed and I fully expect that going back to it will be a magical experience.”

“I’m going to wash this taste out of my mouth with some space booze.” Daisy stated, making her way over to mess with the navigation. “It’s Valentine’s Day back on Earth and we’re still all the way out here. No way am I missing _that_ excuse to have a good night.”

Jemma felt her heart constrict, her stomach falling through the floor as if it weighed a hundred pounds. Had they been out here that long already? Suddenly, the ship around her disappeared and fear burned cold through her veins. Valentine’s Day.

_Fitz._

“Simmons?”

The _Zephyr_ burst back into focus, and she whipped her head to look at her friend so quickly that she felt the fallout down her neck. To her relief, the stimulus was actually a bit grounding.

Daisy spoke again. “Hey, are you alright?

Jemma nodded, not sure who made the movement happen because it didn’t feel like her. “Yes, yes, my mind’s just wandering, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” Piper pressed, “Because I’m pretty sure that I could _see_ your heart trying to make a run for it just now.”

Frightened by being called out, Jemma’s anger shot out of her mouth before she could stop it, “Everything’s fine! See? I’m just tired because we haven’t had a chance to rest in a while.”

“We haven’t rested because you haven’t let us rest.” Piper clarified, “So why don’t we all take the holiday to give ourselves a break - you know, just float for a while?”

She waved, giving her best attempt at a smile. “You guys feel free to celebrate all you’d like, you deserve to, I’m just not really feeling it. I might go lay down for a nap - Valentine’s is a silly holiday anyway.”

That seemed to be Daisy’s limit, and she knew that she had given herself away. Jemma watched as her best friend whispered something to Davis, who left the room dragging a protesting Piper out with him, and then sat down on the floor where she stood. More anxious than surprised, Jemma glanced back at the door that her friends just exited through, wondering if she could escape what she knew was happening, before looking back to the woman on the floor in front of her. “What are you…?”

“Oh, just sit on the floor, Simmons.” Daisy patted a pot in front of her. “I’d rather just skip the games and get right into it.”

She thought about protesting, for a moment, but then figured that it would be a fruitless endeavor and did as she had been instructed. “What is the point of this, Daisy? What are you hoping to achieve?”

“Talking about whatever it is will help you feel better.” she reasoned, “We don’t need you getting bad again.”

“I’m not,” she insisted, truthfully, “because there’s no reason to be that way - there’s still hope.”

Daisy looked like she had more to say on the subject, but instead she stayed on track. Jemma supposed she should be expecting that conversation to come back sometime soon. “So then what in the world came over you back there? You looked like you saw Hive pop in behind me or something.”

The fib was on her tongue, so vivid that she could taste it, but as she looked at the other woman’s face she just couldn’t do it. This was _Daisy_ , someone she considered her sister. She tried to force the lie past her lips but found the truth flying out all on it’s own, “It’s Valentine’s Day. I can’t believe it’s already Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, yeah I get that.” Daisy agreed, nodded and staring at something off to the side, “The passage of time is something that’s super easy to lose track of up here.”

“No-” Jemma groped for her explanation - Daisy wasn’t understanding, she had to make her - but, for the first time in a long time, found herself at a loss for words. How could she put everything she was feeling into words that existed and could be understood? All that she managed to push past the quickly growing lump in her throat was, “ _Fitz_.”

“Oh.”

“I haven’t spent a Valentine’s without him in so long,” she continued, wiping away the first tear that fell, “I don’t remember how to do it. I don’t think I can.”

Daisy scooted closer, and wrapped her arms around her best friend, letting Jemma settle in against her shoulder. “Hey, you still have us. We’re all miserable in this together.”

Jemma nodded, “Yeah, I know, and thank you. It’s just… I don’t mean to sound rude, or unappreciative, but-”

“It’s not the same.” Daisy finished, “That’s fair.”

She shrugged, “I just… don’t know how to celebrate without him. I don’t know if I _could_.”

“You _can_ ,” Daisy corrected, smiling, “and we’ll figure out how to do it, together.”

Jemma managed a weak smile back when her sister placed a hand on her shoulder. Maybe she could do this - survive, even celebrate, without Fitz by her side; at least for now. She had her health, her friends, and her hope still intact and alright. One night was something that she could allow herself after everything - it was _Valentine’s Day_ \- and the search could resume tomorrow. It was okay.

_They would be okay._

**Author's Note:**

> was this just an excuse to write that s4 scene? maybe


End file.
